Words; the art of playing with letters to give meaning to my state of being.

What was as natural to me as raindrops coming together to form the strongest of rivers, has lately escaped my fingertips and left me drowning in my own flood of unresolved emotions since writing has for long been one of my best therapies.

I am out of focus, trying hard to find purpose, and the more i try the more I am dry.

This got me thinking of a TED talk I had enjoyed a good while ago where the Hungarian psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi  talks about one of his books: “FLOW”…

Characterized by complete absorption in what one does while losing sense of time and space, flow is the state of mind where a person performing an activity, usually a creative one, is completely immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoying the process of the activity.

People experiencing the flow are known to translate threats into enjoyable challenges and thereby maintaining inner peace.

All of the above mentioned are exactly the things I have been lacking lately for I have been both anxious and depressed. The former feeling making me super loud, active, hyper but without purpose while the latter leaving me delusional, passive, tired, and absent… 

It is said that “if you are depressed you’re living in the past, and if you’re anxious you’re living in the future…”

How is it possible that a person like me, one that claims to be mindful, have let myself be taken by my past and scared from my future rather than focusing on the current?

Well the answer seems simple now that I am in a state of reflection.

“The body benefits from movement & the mind benefits from stillness” and I have been moving as much as a corpse while letting my mind drift all over the place without meaning. 

In hope that words do flow back to me soon, I will try to find inspiration in new places and dive deeper into myself…